3 Ways to Support Friends' Mental Health

Support your friends’ mental health by learning about warning signs and how to help if someone is struggling. You’ll also find tips for taking care of yourself as you are helping others. 

It might help to first find out how you would respond when friends need mental health support. Consider taking the Supporting Friends’ Mental Healthquiz if you haven’t yet. It will bring you back here at the end. 

Take the Quiz

Sometimes, it’s hard to know if someone is struggling with their mental health. Everyone is different, and you can’t always know what another person needs. The most important things you can do to support friends’ mental health are: 

1. Know the signs when someone is having a mental health challenge. 

2. Show you care. 

3. Provide resources. 

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Know the signs. 

Be aware of warning signs that a friend may be having a mental health challenge. 

Warning signs of mental health struggles or substance use issues include: 

• Avoiding responsibilities like school, a job or after-school activities, or skipping activities they used to enjoy 

• Having more problems than usual with family and friends 

• Showing changes in appetite, weight, or sleeping habits 

• Having big mood changes, including highs and lows, or being more angry or irritated than usual 

• Getting into trouble frequently (fights, accidents, illegal activities) 

• Expressing hopelessness 

• Sharing suicidal thoughts or wanting to hurt themselves  

Additional physical changes that may mean someone is having substance use issues include: 

• Bloodshot eyes and abnormally sized pupils 

• Unusual smells on breath, body, or clothing 

• Tremors, slurred speech, or impaired coordination 

Show you care. 

Show you care about your friend by asking how they are doing, listening with empathy, and finding fun things to do together. 

Ask your friend about their mental well-being. You can:  

• Create a safe environment that makes them feel open to sharing. 

• Use conversation starters if you are not sure if someone is struggling. Here are some examples of gentle ways to start a conversation: 

  • “I’ve noticed you don’t seem yourself lately, and I’m wondering how you’re doing.” 

  • “It seems like you’ve been kind of depressed. Let me know if you’d like to talk about it.” 

• Follow up. Schedule a hang out, send a text message, or give a quick call just to check up on your friend to see how they are doing.  

Listen with empathy and without judgment. Make sure to:  

• Validate their experience. Acknowledge what they are telling you and listen without immediately offering advice. As a teen We Think Twice™ Insider said, “Do not invalidate their emotions or thoughts by downplaying their feelings.” 

• Make it clear you want to support them. 

• Challenge the stigma around mental health. Let your friend know that it’s common for people to struggle with mental health at some point in life and that seeking help for mental health is no different than getting help for another health issue.  

• Know that just being present for someone is valuable. Our teen Insiders recommend that if friends “don't want to hear positive affirmation, give them the presence they want.”  

Offer to do something fun together, like:  

• Get outside! Fresh air is good for mental health. 

• Watch a movie. 

• Play a sport. 

• Grab something to eat. 

• Volunteer together for a cause you care about. Helping others can be healing. 

• Just hang out and talk. 

Provide resources. 

Connect your friend who is struggling to relevant resources, such as hotlines, mental health organizations, and trusted adults. See below for details. You can start by asking who they have already talked with. If they are not in touch with a mental health professional, encourage them to seek help or offer to make the connection for them. Let them know they are not alone. Almost half of adolescents have had a mental health challenge at some point in their lives. 

Remember that some people have unique mental health challenges related to being part of marginalized communities, such as people who identify as LGBTQIA+, people of color, or neurodiverse people (people whose brains function differently, like those with autism spectrum disorder). There are mental health resources for some specific communities below. 

Here are some good places to start: 

During every step, take care of yourself 

To take care of others in a healthy way, you must take care of yourself. This may look like making time for things you love to do or setting healthy boundaries.   

• Be honest with yourself and notice how you are feeling.  

• Set appropriate limits based on how you are feeling and how you want to feel. Consider your other responsibilities (school, work, family). 

• Communicate your limits clearly and offer alternatives that you feel comfortable with. For example, if you can’t meet up with your friend today, you could let your friend know when you can get together. 

• Honor the limits you’ve made for yourself and follow through with what you say.  

• Don’t make exceptions for your boundaries without thinking about them carefully. 

• Practice these 8 Healthy Habits for a Mindful Life to care for your own mental health. 

Kudos to you for learning how to support friends when they are in need. To learn more about teen mental health, see additional We Think Twice™ resources on mental health. Share this listicle with your friends to help build a community of support!